Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
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Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says
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Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
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Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
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Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
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Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
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Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy
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Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
15.
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
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Actual Headline: Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
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Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Showing posts with label crazy stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazy stuff. Show all posts
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
crazy and witty
to give us a breather here are some punchlines gathered from some internet research, many naija boiz need to take note. if u can't grab the jerk ask the nearest smart guy or go for an IQ test!
Those who have guinea pigs never have to throw out any vegetables.
3) If you wear a silly hat, everyone knows who you are.
4) No one likes a smartass
4') Especially another smartass.
4") Unless they have their own TV show, then they're a comic genius.
5) Arguing with a zealot is only slightly easier than tunneling through a mountain with your forehead.
6) Anyone capable of getting themselves elected president has shown that they should not be allowed to do the job. (Apologies to Douglas Adams)
7) Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. (Isaac Asmiov)
8) Right, because usually the compentent don't wait that long. (Jerry Pournelle)
9) Once is chance, twice is a coincidence, three times is an enemy action. (Ian Fleming, Goldfinger)
10) Never turn your back on a charging turtle.
11) Never get in a spitting contest with a llama.
12) Projectile vomiting rarely gets you a return invitation anywhere.
13) Never throw toilet paper on a bear.
14) Hyenas laugh becasue they know what's coming next.
15) Shooting yourself in the foot is actually a lot more fun than it sounds.
15') Shooting yourself in the foot is actually a lot less fun than nearly anything else.
16) Calling your mother and pretending to be an encyclopedia salesman doesn't go over too well.
17) The prime motivation for all human behavior is the need to feel superior to someone else.
18) He who laughs last should do so from a safe distance.
19) Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
20) The words "My" "Rash" "See" and "Wanna" don't go well together in a sentence.
21a) When given a choice, people will always do the dumbest thing under the circumstances.
21b) The IQ of a mob can be determined by taking the IQ of the dumbest member, and dividing by the number of members.
21c) Therefore: The larger the number of people, the stupider the resultant decisions and actions (congress anyone?)
22) Never ever go first.
23) When being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger. (Monty Python
Those who have guinea pigs never have to throw out any vegetables.
3) If you wear a silly hat, everyone knows who you are.
4) No one likes a smartass
4') Especially another smartass.
4") Unless they have their own TV show, then they're a comic genius.
5) Arguing with a zealot is only slightly easier than tunneling through a mountain with your forehead.
6) Anyone capable of getting themselves elected president has shown that they should not be allowed to do the job. (Apologies to Douglas Adams)
7) Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. (Isaac Asmiov)
8) Right, because usually the compentent don't wait that long. (Jerry Pournelle)
9) Once is chance, twice is a coincidence, three times is an enemy action. (Ian Fleming, Goldfinger)
10) Never turn your back on a charging turtle.
11) Never get in a spitting contest with a llama.
12) Projectile vomiting rarely gets you a return invitation anywhere.
13) Never throw toilet paper on a bear.
14) Hyenas laugh becasue they know what's coming next.
15) Shooting yourself in the foot is actually a lot more fun than it sounds.
15') Shooting yourself in the foot is actually a lot less fun than nearly anything else.
16) Calling your mother and pretending to be an encyclopedia salesman doesn't go over too well.
17) The prime motivation for all human behavior is the need to feel superior to someone else.
18) He who laughs last should do so from a safe distance.
19) Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
20) The words "My" "Rash" "See" and "Wanna" don't go well together in a sentence.
21a) When given a choice, people will always do the dumbest thing under the circumstances.
21b) The IQ of a mob can be determined by taking the IQ of the dumbest member, and dividing by the number of members.
21c) Therefore: The larger the number of people, the stupider the resultant decisions and actions (congress anyone?)
22) Never ever go first.
23) When being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger. (Monty Python
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